thursday, december 3rd, 2009
Ugh. I've been trying to get WordPress to work with my site since the Carter administration and have finally taken drastic matters to resolve the situation. It's been the same cycle, every couple of weeks, for months now: spend 30-40 seconds looking through the PHP and CSS files, feel my eyes glaze over, get distracted by a shiny object and forget about the whole thing. Since late September, I've maybe spent a combined total of 11 minutes on this endeavor.
The problem is that I hate web programming. I hate frilly, typeless scripting languages. I hate HTML. I hate CSS. It looks like something designed by children. Caveman children. To make matters worse, I come from an old-school programming background and consider just about anything other than ARM9 assembly to be a namby-pamby waste of grey matter.
That's right, namby-pamby.
See, as an artist, I'm brimming with goodwill and boyish charm. But as a programmer, I'm the grizzled lovechild of Clint Eastwood and the old guy from Up.
So anyway, I did what any unhinged, end-of-the-world right-wing militia type would do when disenchanted by the outside world: I created my own delusional utopia within a heavily fortified compound. Well not quite, obviously, but I did write my own blog software from scratch for the sole purpose of not having to deal with someone else's bullshit code*. And that's pretty goddamn nutty, too.
I've spent a combined total of like three to four days coding this thing, so there's an excellent chance that I've left something important out. Please let me know if anything isn't functioning the way one would expect.
*All jokes aside, WordPress is a great product. I just don't have the attention span to deal with code I didn't write.
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